Posts

The Stuff I Have To Say

Are Women and Men Different at Play?

By Spanky53 -
Image
One of the things I have always enjoyed is watching Women Top—whether they are Topping Men or Women, it has always intrigued me. It isn’t simply because I am a Switch, but because I have always been fascinated by the differences in how the mind works, particularly in how Men and Women engage in this world we play in. I’m not going to take you on some intellectual joyride about any of this. Like everything I write, this is a stream-of-consciousness piece based on my own experiences and observations. Size and strength, when it comes to the Kink world, are often mitigated by the abundance of toys available to level the playing field. I have played with a few Women Tops, but there was a defining moment when I truly saw how effective even a petite Woman could be in bringing a Man to his knees—literally. Some years ago at a local Dungeon space I watched a Woman all of 5’2” inches wielding a flogger roughly the size of her working her magic on a man secured to a St. Andrews Cross. This man wa...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Celibacy and Kink

By Spanky53 -
  The Definition of Celibacy: Celibacy is the state of abstaining from sexual relations. Often, it is voluntarily chosen for various reasons, such as religious vows, personal beliefs, or a commitment to a certain lifestyle. It's important to remember that celibacy is different from abstinence; the former typically denotes a long-term commitment, while the latter might be more temporary. Definition of Kink: "Kink" refers to unconventional sexual preferences, behaviors, or fantasies that go beyond what is considered "vanilla" or traditional. Kinks can involve a wide range of activities, dynamics, or interests, often emphasizing power exchange, sensation play, role-playing, or fetishes.   I have had an interesting relationship with celibacy and with kink.   My interest and participation with both started at a young age.   I lost my virginity at 13 to a high school junior and my first realization that being spanked had an effect from a sexual aspect happ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Is a Hotdog a Sandwich? Is a Top a Dominant?

By Spanky53 -
Image
  This is an age old question? Is a Hotdog a Sandwich?  Is a Top a Dominant?  What do you think? The creation of a sandwich and hotdog and the role of a Dominant or Top in the BDSM community can be correlated through the lens of intention, fulfillment, and balance. Here's how I think they might work out: 1. Purpose and Let's break down the definition of a sandwich and a hot dog: Sandwich:  Traditionally, a sandwich consists of two slices of bread with various fillings such as meat, cheese, vegetables, and condiments. The basic structure is bread-filling-bread. However, there are countless variations, including open-faced sandwiches, wraps, and more. Hot Dog:  A hot dog is typically a cooked sausage (usually a frankfurter or wiener) served in a sliced bun. The bun is designed to hold the sausage and can include toppings like mustard, ketchup, onions, relish, and sauerkraut. Can this be taken to a thought level for the purpose of how we might see Tops and Domina...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spankos vs. BDSM Players: Drawing the Lines—or Erasing Them

By Spanky53 -
Image
This post comes from a Reply I received from a Spanking centric Blog I sometimes visit.  I’ve always been intrigued, and admittedly a bit amused, by the Spanking community’s need to distance themselves from BDSM. It’s like they want to put up a big sign saying, “We are NOT those people.” Why the need for these hard lines? And more importantly, why does this seem so specific to certain groups, particularly the overwhelmingly White Spanko community? When I first started navigating the kink world, it was clear there were rules—both spoken and unspoken. I’m a dedicated Spanko, but even from the beginning, I noticed the sharp divide. Spankos seemed to look down on BDSMers, while BDSMers treated Spankos like cute little cousins, not quite in the same league. Both perspectives felt wrong to me. ### A Spanko’s Journey Through the Kink World One of my first interactions in the Spanko community really drove home the divide. A White woman told me she didn’t play with Black men because, ...
4 comments
Read more