Is a Hotdog a Sandwich? Is a Top a Dominant?

 

This is an age old question? Is a Hotdog a Sandwich?  Is a Top a Dominant?  What do you think?

The creation of a sandwich and hotdog and the role of a Dominant or Top in the BDSM community can be correlated through the lens of intention, fulfillment, and balance. Here's how I think they might work out:

1.Purpose and Let's break down the definition of a sandwich and a hot dog:

Sandwich: Traditionally, a sandwich consists of two slices of bread with various fillings such as meat, cheese, vegetables, and condiments. The basic structure is bread-filling-bread. However, there are countless variations, including open-faced sandwiches, wraps, and more.

Hot Dog: A hot dog is typically a cooked sausage (usually a frankfurter or wiener) served in a sliced bun. The bun is designed to hold the sausage and can include toppings like mustard, ketchup, onions, relish, and sauerkraut.

Can this be taken to a thought level for the purpose of how we might see Tops and Dominants. Take a look.

1. Identifying Needs

• Sandwich: A sandwich fulfills the need for nourishment, convenience, and taste. It is created with the intention of meeting hunger in a satisfying and efficient way.
• Dominant: A Dominant fulfills the emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical needs of the submissive. Their role is rooted in mutual satisfaction, safety, and structure within the dynamic.

Thoughtful Design / Dynamic

• Sandwich: Its purpose goes beyond sustenance—it reflects a balance of ingredients chosen thoughtfully to create harmony in flavors and textures.
• Dominant: A Dominant's purpose isn’t just about control; it's about carefully creating a dynamic that nurtures and challenges the submissive in a way that promotes trust, growth, and mutual pleasure.

3. Balance of Ingredients and Roles

• Sandwich: The balance of ingredients (bread, protein, veggies, condiments) is key to its success. Too much or too little of any component can ruin the experience.
• Dominant: The Dominant balances authority, care, and understanding. Their actions must be measured and responsive to the submissive's limits and desires, ensuring a healthy and fulfilling dynamic.

4. Collaboration and Customization

• Sandwich: A good sandwich often considers the preferences of the person eating it. Ingredients are selected based on taste and dietary needs.
• Dominant: A good Dominant works collaboratively with the submissive, tailoring the dynamic to shared agreements, limits, and boundaries.

5. Satisfaction and Fulfillment

• Sandwich: A well-made sandwich leaves the eater satisfied and energized, providing sustenance and pleasure.
• Dominant: A well-rounded Dominant leaves the submissive fulfilled and secure, offering emotional nourishment, empowerment, and comfort within the structure of their relationship.

Ultimately, both the sandwich and the Dominant exist to meet a need with purpose, creativity, and care, emphasizing balance and intentionality in their creation or role.

1. Simplicity in Meeting Needs

• Hotdog: A hotdog is straightforward—meat in a bun with optional toppings. Its primary purpose is to satisfy hunger quickly and enjoyably, often in a casual setting.
• Dominant: A Dominant in certain dynamics might adopt a more straightforward or minimalist approach, focusing on core aspects of control and guidance without overcomplicating the relationship. Some dynamics thrive on simplicity and dire

2. Customization and Preferences

• Hotdog: While simple, a hotdog is highly customizable—add mustard, relish, onions, or skip the bun altogether. It can be tailored to individual tastes, just like a sandwich.
• Dominant: Dominants, too, can tailor their leadership style to the preferences of their submissive(s). Whether a dynamic is playful, strict, nurturing, or intense, it’s shaped to meet the needs of both parties.

3. Perceived Casualness

• Hotdog: A hotdog often feels more casual or "on-the-go" compared to the often deliberate construction of a sandwich. It doesn’t make it less valid—just more accessible or less formal.
• Dominant: Some Dominant-submissive dynamics are casual, focusing on playfulness and spontaneity rather than elaborate rituals or structures. These dynamics can still be deeply fulfilling.

4. Balance of Core Elements

• Hotdog: Despite its simplicity, a hotdog needs balance—too much mustard can overwhelm, and a soggy bun ruins the experience. Even something simple requires thought.
• Dominant: Similarly, even in straightforward dynamics, balance is key. A Dominant must still be attentive, responsible, and respectful of boundaries, ensuring the relationship is healthy and enjoyable.

5. Satisfaction through Intentional Design

• Hotdog: A well-made hotdog hits the spot. Whether it's a quick snack or part of a bigger meal, it satisfies because it’s made with care—even if it looks simple.
• Dominant: A Dominant, regardless of style or approach, succeeds when their actions are intentional, meeting the needs of their submissive with care and thoughtfulness.

In essence, a hotdog can represent a more straightforward or casual expression of intention, fulfillment, and customization within a dynamic. It’s a reminder that not all structures (or meals!) need to be complex to be meaningful or satisfying. Both the hotdog and the Dominant are about meeting a need in a way that works best for the individuals involved—whether that’s a quick snack or a casual, fulfilling dynamic.

1. Core Function: Fulfillment Without Overcomplication

• Hotdog: A hotdog gets the job done—it satisfies hunger in a straightforward way without requiring the layered complexity of a sandwich.
• Top: A Top fulfills the immediate needs of a scene or activity without necessarily embodying the deeper responsibilities, ongoing care, or emotional involvement of a Dominant. It’s focused on the act rather than the overarching dynamic.

2. Context and Purpose

• Hotdog: Often consumed in casual settings (e.g., barbecues, sports events), the hotdog thrives in scenarios where something quick and satisfying is desired, rather than an elaborate meal.
• Top: A Top usually focuses on scene-specific roles, such as administering impact play or guiding an activity. The relationship may be confined to the scene or moment, without the ongoing structure or authority of a Dominant.

3. Customization and Versatility

• Hotdog: Just as you can dress a hotdog up or down (basic ketchup or a gourmet topping like truffle mustard), its simplicity lends itself to personalization.
• Top: Similarly, a Top can be as simple or elaborate as the scene requires. They might engage in a single, straightforward activity or take on a more complex role, but it’s all within the scope of the specific interaction.

4. Less Formal, Still Valid

• Hotdog: While it may not have the "sophistication" of a sandwich, a hotdog is no less valid—it serves a different purpose. It’s about convenience and enjoyment, not an extensive dining experience.
• Top: A Top might not take on the authority, responsibility, or deep emotional connection associated with a Dominant, but they are no less important. They provide a specific kind of fulfillment that is equally valid and appreciated.

5. Intentional Satisfaction

• Hotdog: Even a simple hotdog benefits from care and attention to detail—a perfectly grilled hotdog with fresh toppings can be as satisfying as a gourmet sandwich.
• Top: A good Top ensures that the scene is enjoyable, consensual, and fulfilling for all involved. Even without the layers of a power exchange dynamic, their focus and intent can create a memorable and satisfying experience.

6. Relationship to the "Whole Meal"

• Hotdog: A hotdog might be a snack or part of a larger meal. It doesn’t claim to be the centerpiece, but it plays its role effectively.
• Top: A Top might be involved in a single scene or activity, or they might complement a broader relationship dynamic (perhaps with a Dominant or submissive). Their role is important but not necessarily central to the bigger picture.

Comparing a Top to a hotdog emphasizes the simplicity, scene-specific focus, and casual nature of the role. Just as a hotdog doesn’t need to be a sandwich to be satisfying, a Top doesn’t need to embody the responsibilities of a Dominant to provide meaningful, fulfilling, and intentional experiences. Both serve their purpose beautifully in the right context.

Using a "Top" in place of a "Dominant" and comparing it to a hotdog in relation to a sandwich works beautifully, as both represent simpler, less formal versions of their counterparts while still fulfilling key roles. Here's how the analogy holds up:

So, what does this have to do with KINK and for that matter from a Black perspective? Glad, I asked.

A lot goes into how someone views Kink. One size does not fil all and one definition does make the appropriate box to fit in or between the bread.

What and who is a Dominant?  By the typical Kink perspective, it comes with terms like Master, Mistress, Bull, or any number of various honorariums available in the Kink lexicon. They are seen as the guiders of submissives and slaves demanding total control and capitulation to their will. They hold the top of the food chain hierarchy.

What about Tops?

Down the food chain a bit and by Kink standards do not command the same level of respect in most instances. They are perceived not to have slaves or submissives, but they have dominion over bottoms. They can also be seen as Mentors, Disciplinarians, HOH or again a thousand different names.

So how do they fit the idea of which is a sandwich?

Just like a sandwich is two slices of bread with a filling if you want to be a literalist Dominant is sandwich and a Top is a hotdog. Unless…. A top believes he has the same hierarchical status and considers his bottoms submissives and even slaves and demands total control and capitulation to their will.  I have seen this and, on some levels, even subscribed the same to my partners. But like hotdog Tops are considered a subcategory open to interpretation.

It all breaks down to individuality and dynamics in my mind. And to some extent semantics. But the world exists around boxes and uniformity. The ink in the oil is free will and something the Wharton School of Business is supposed to have taught…Nothing fits neatly within a box because…it depends.

Growing up in the country where things like hamburgers and hotdog buns were nonexistent. If my Mother prepared hotdogs the hotdog was split down the middle and served between two slices of bread, sometimes it was one slice of bread with the hotdog in the middle. A hamburger was also served between two slices of bread. Did we call it a sandwich…nope. We called them hot dogs and hamburgers.

 In my experience with Black Dominants. Some abhor the idea of using Mistress and Master because of the connection to slavery. I fall in this category. Others are ok. For me I wanted to avoid any name I chose for myself to be as far away as possible. The same with how someone referred to me. But in my dynamics, there was structure. Someone leads another follows. There were rules to be followed and consequences for following short. The term Sir was permitted. But I never felt the need or desire for a slave or submissive by the general descriptors. But there was a negotiated idea around what those rules looked like and a contract of sorts between myself and my bottoms.

So, is it a sandwich or a hotdog?

Again, nomenclatures and descriptors come from the normative structure because it has to come from somewhere. But in my mind that takes the spontaneity and growth out of the equation. It is limited by nature. And this is where free will comes in. Getting back to basics of why a thing was even a thing.

I believe that we are creatures of adaptability at our core. For me having an authentic dynamic comes with flexibility and compromise. Committing to something that should be nourishing and connective you can’t blindly jump in the box as it’s defined. Learn the basics and build out to your needs.

Because somedays you feel like a Sandwich and some days a Hot Dog works just fine.  And the end of the day why are we defining it?