BLACK STYLE IN THE KINK COMMUNITY

 

It’s been announced that for the 2025 Met Gala, four Black men—A$AP Rocky, Pharrell Williams, Lewis Hamilton, and Colman Domingo—will co-chair the event. This, in itself, is groundbreaking. Even more impactful is their focus on showcasing Black designers throughout history. Every layer of this announcement is historic.

 The theme for the Met Gala will celebrate Black dandyism, style, and tailoring, with inspiration drawn from Monica L. Miller’s 2009 book *Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity*. The event will examine the concept of the “Black dandy,” tracing its development from Enlightenment Europe in the 18th century to its modern incarnations in 21st-century fashion hubs like London, New York, and Paris.

 In the Black community, dressing well was never just about looking good—it was a cultural commitment. Weekends, and especially Sundays, were the pinnacle of style, with church being the ultimate runway. It was a sacred tradition of showing up in your finest, and showing out. Dressing well was a statement, a declaration that no matter what challenges you faced, you always presented yourself with style, grace, and dignity.

 In my family, this sense of style was passed down like a precious heirloom. I learned my personal style from my grandfather—a man whose early life as a Pimp evolved into a revered Pentecostal preacher. Though he left the Pimp life behind, his sense of style remained. Whether in the streets or the pulpit, he was always sharp, always presenting.

This news about the Met Gala got me thinking about how POC show up and stand out in the kink community. From my own experience, my approach to kink spaces has always mirrored how I present myself elsewhere. I’ve never been one for traditional BDSM attire. When I started going to dungeon spaces, I brought my sense of style with me. I saw it as an opportunity to respect myself and exude the Yoruba concept of *Àrà*—meaning style, elegance, and personal flair. 

Heading out to Play

It wasn’t uncommon for me to wear a suit, though I’d skip the tie. A well-fitted suit or a sport jacket paired with jeans became my signature look when I hit the dungeon or attended a munch. And when other POC players showed up, it was clear that we brought something special—a sense of "funking up" the kink aesthetic. In my part of the world our presence is never in large numbers, but we always stand out.

 Our kink style varies from Big Pimp Daddy to Men in Leather, from Ebony Seductress to Turned-Out Elegance. We represent, and we represent well. That’s not to say every Black person in the kink scene dresses this way, but when we do, we tend to lean into our exhibitionist tendencies. We embrace the attention of the eager voyeurs.

 

A few cultural references come to mind when I think about Black style in the kink community. Take the *Onyx Leather* fraternity, a group founded in 1995 by and for POC. This iconic collective of Black men has made an indelible mark on the leather scene. They’ve built a bridge between Black identity and leather culture, where the Black Dandyism aesthetic—sharp, tailored looks combined with leather harnesses or gear—represents pride, resistance, and defiance.Our style has influenced the leather community since the beginning, and I believe that *Àrà*—that personal flair—was appropriated into what we see today.

 The flamboyant, luxurious style of the 1970s has left a legacy in the kink community, where some Black men adopt a “Pimp Daddy” persona in dungeon spaces, mixing fetish gear with elements of the bold, opulent street style. And don’t forget the lasting influence of Blaxploitation films, where figures like Shaft embodied the balance between raw masculinity and impeccable fashion—a dynamic that still resonates in kink fashion today as done by POC players in the community

I also think about how Black women have represented in these spaces. Many Black women bring *their* sense of femininity to the kink world by blending traditional kink aesthetics with elements of elegance and power, inspired by icons like Grace Jones. Jones, with her androgynous style and bold expressions of sexuality, has long been an emblem of Black women’s empowerment and dominance. You see this reflected in many Black women in kink spaces—whether it’s sleek latex, corsets with an Afrocentric twist, or leather ensembles that exude both femininity and authority.

I believe this sense of style has deep roots in the legacy of slavery. Slaves had few opportunities to present themselves with dignity, but Sundays and special occasions—when they were paraded around as entertainment for their masters or allowed into town—offered rare moments to shine. They took the meager clothing they were given and turned it into something spectacular.

 

Dressing well in the Black community is a manifesto that’s been passed down through generations, and it’s no different in the kink world. 

 In the kink community, Black dandyism has always been a part of the culture. And I absolutely love it when we show up, show out, and remind everyone where that style really came from.