The Colors of Kink

  This is an age old question? Is a Hotdog a Sandwich?  Is a Top a Dominant?  What do you think? The creation of a sandwich and hotdog and the role of a Dominant or Top in the BDSM community can be correlated through the lens of intention, fulfillment, and balance. Here's how I think they might work out: 1. Purpose and Let's break down the definition of a sandwich and a hot dog: Sandwich:  Traditionally, a sandwich consists of two slices of bread with various fillings such as meat, cheese, vegetables, and condiments. The basic structure is bread-filling-bread. However, there are countless variations, including open-faced sandwiches, wraps, and more. Hot Dog:  A hot dog is typically a cooked sausage (usually a frankfurter or wiener) served in a sliced bun. The bun is designed to hold the sausage and can include toppings like mustard, ketchup, onions, relish, and sauerkraut. Can this be taken to a thought level for the purpose of how we might see Tops and Domina...

This post comes from a Reply I received from a Spanking centric Blog I sometimes visit.  I’ve always been intrigued, and admittedly a bit amused, by the Spanking community’s need to distance themselves from BDSM. It’s like they want to put up a big sign saying, “We are NOT those people.” Why the need for these hard lines? And more importantly, why does this seem so specific to certain groups, particularly the overwhelmingly White Spanko community? When I first started navigating the kink world, it was clear there were rules—both spoken and unspoken. I’m a dedicated Spanko, but even from the beginning, I noticed the sharp divide. Spankos seemed to look down on BDSMers, while BDSMers treated Spankos like cute little cousins, not quite in the same league. Both perspectives felt wrong to me. ### A Spanko’s Journey Through the Kink World One of my first interactions in the Spanko community really drove home the divide. A White woman told me she didn’t play with Black men because, ...